-=Bagel Luvs You=- (bagelwhore) wrote in pointlessshizit,
-=Bagel Luvs You=-
bagelwhore
pointlessshizit

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Can You Use Chopsticks With Your Toes?

Beating your friends record of livejournal comments of 124 isnt all that important

Fargo: Nothing brings in the numbers like a good girlfight -- just look at those Miller Lite commercials with the chicks fighting in the fountain! -- so that's why we're bringing the two most famous Nintendo Princesses to the arena this week to deathmatch it out until clothes are torn off.

shaithis: This is a pretty one-sided contest, by most means of measure. Princess Peach is a creampuff, helpless and kidnapped just about every time we see her. She's perpetually in the wrong castle and when you finally do rescue her, she bakes you a cake. She's less of a Princess and more of a drama Queen. Look at how she reacts when she loses a round of Mario Golf: Toadstool Tour -- you'd think she just killed a puppy.

Fargo: Sure, but--

shaithis: Silence! Compare that with Princess Zelda. Her whole Kingdom was taken from her as a little girl, but what's she do? She learns to fight! She becomes for all intents and purposes a ninja, albeit a frilly one. With a whip. And you, of all people, should be excited by women with whips.

Fargo: Believe me, it's the reason I came in without underwear today. But you're underestimating Princess Peach. Ever played Super Smash Bros.? She's just as likely to do you with a tennis racket or a golf club. When you attack her, she uses her subjects as human shields! Well, squirming mushroom shields, at least. That's cold. She's like the Courtney Love of the Nintendo family. When Mario Kart: Double Dash!! comes out, you can bet she'll be slashing tires and cutting brake lines. She's got "Moxie."

shaithis: What is Moxie, anyways?

Fargo: I think it's like the bad part of PMS

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