Public Remand (bunnyreaper) wrote in pointlessshizit,
Public Remand

Random Script


Scene 1

Narrator: Hello…blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…
Thank you

(Asparagus falls down onto him and explodes)


Fred: That was interesting...

Tree: Damn straight...

Fred: you’re allergic to fire arent you...

Tree: Yes I am

Fire: hahahahahahahahah

Tree: oh look its fire the amazing fig tree

Fire: I am not a fig tree....

all: Your not... but I thought with the red flames and evil glint in your eye that you must be a fig tree...

Fire: no I am not a fig tree at all, I am potato tree

all: oh

Fire you not amazed astonished maybe slightly confused?

All: no

Tree: Hello ALL fancy meeting you here

All: fuck off you small grain of sand

Tree: mutt

exit everything

Tree: bye everything

Scene 3

Fred, Gomp1 and fire are walking out of a Nazi concentration camp...none of them know what they were there fore...Gomp1 has a cloning device....

Gomp1: Using this I can open pineapples with the mere thought! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Fire: Gomp1, that is not a toy, you must only use it to play "how to kill everything" the game like we learned inside!

Gomp wanders off to sulk and by dramatic coincidence tree appears as a toothbrush

Fred: oh look a toothbrush!

Fire: (NOT LISTENING) I think that place was a bit mean to everything, sure he's a hermaphrodite but why were all the German, American and English plans to mainly kill it?


All: Ominous Voice is you there?

Ominous Voice: .............No...

All: O.k.

(Fred wanders over to where Gomp1 is lying)

Fred: r you dead yet?

Gomp1: N0

Fred: r you dead yet?

Gomp1: N0

Fred: r you dead yet?

Gomp1: N0

Fred: r you dead yet?

Gomp1: N0

Fred: r you dead yet?

Gomp1: N0

Fred: r you dead yet?

Gomp1: N0

(Fred picks up cloning device and inadvertently kills Gomp1 unaware that it is in fact switched on)

(Fred turns into some cheese)

(Fred flies to the moon)

(tree turns into a large mango with legs)

Tree: Yawn

all: "yawn"? What do you mean by that? You incessant pig dog

Tree: are you Albanian?

All: NO!

(Gomp1 returns from the dead with an identical twin)

Gomp2: You...I don't know what I’m doing?

(Fred RETURNS as a cheese turns into 2 bowls of yogurt and disappears again)

Ybrik the Kirby look alike: I Want ice cream


Ybrik the Kirby look alike: Not that ice cream

(Giant purple lemming enters and explodes)

Tree: ...he...hehehe...hehehehehehehehheheheh


Scene 4

Fred returned from the moon with a warning...and killed Gomp1 again to prove a point but it did not work and as soon as Gomp1 came out of the cloning device he was ready for heated discussion:

Gomp1: PORK!

Gomp2: KROP!

Gomp1: PORK!

Gomp2: KROP!

Gomp1: PORK!

Gomp2: KROP!

Gomp1: PORK!

Gomp2: KROP!

Gomp1: PORK!

Gomp2: KROP!

Ominous Voice...Wrong the correct answer is rat..............

(Everyone riding Hitler in a Camel fashion)

Everyone: Whoa boy steady now

(Hitler eats and regurgitates everyone several times and turns into chocolate ice cream)

Ybrik: N0! 1 hate you all

(a zebra appears and ybrik flies away to Atlantis)

(Tree as a human appears in an orange penguin)

(Tree turns into God)

Ominous voice: Wrong the correct answer is rat

Tree: Fuck you

(Fred reverts back to his normal thing)

Fred: N0!!!!!! You teh RICE!

(A child like voice booms over the intercom)

Intercom: L-E-T-S P-L-A-Y Y-U-G-I-O-H-!-!-!

Ominous voice: .........Y-U-G-I-O-H SUXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX........

(Tree and Fred merge to become one)

Treefred: Oddopet!

Scene 5

(All is walking out of a Dr Who convention dressed like Dr Who with everything and Gomp1)

All: I hate these conventions they always bring out the worst in me...

(Gang of penguin’s appear. they begin to chant)

Penguins: Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy

(Penguins see All and charge towards him breathing fire)

(Gomp1 takes out 2 machine guns and charges towards the penguins, Gomp1 gets set alight and shoots himself in the foot)

Gomp1: FUCK! It’s all your fault you fucking pencil! I shall take my revenge, with this magic toothbrush!


(A crapply drawn dinosaur fly’s out of the top with a brick and begins to kill everything)

Everything: Ow! Stop it!

C.D.Dinosaur: NO!

Everything: Ow! Stop it!

C.D.Dinosaur: NO!

Everything: Ow! Stop it!

C.D.Dinosaur: NO!

Everything: Ow! Stop it!

C.D.Dinosaur: NO!

Everything: Ow! Stop it!

C.D.Dinosaur: NO!

Ominous Voice...YAY! RADIATOR MAN...

Radiator man: Fuck you I hate you all! Go buy your own radiators!

Gomp1: This, will stop, him!

(Gomp1 picks up a yellow jelly baby from the moon and throws it at the crapply drawn dinosaur)

(The dinosaur eats the yellow jelly baby and grows fat and becomes americanised and crushes the entire world)

Meanwhile in Texas:

TreeFred: What was that?

Ybrik: That was my Jelly baby


Gomp2: What is that

Ybrik: this is mi Lollipop

Gomp2: OH

Scene 6

Gomp2 and crapply drawn dinosaur are arguing amongst the ladybirds in a desolate garden made of happy...suddenly they come across a giant pea that tells them there is a better way to settle the differences...

Gomp2: wow its, amazing, I, have, never, seen something as beautiful as this.

Crapply drawn dinosaur: but you have seen me naked!

Gomp2: you’re always naked!

C.D.dinosaur: So...

Gomp2: You don't even have a sexual organ how could you be gay?

C.D.dinosaur: I am not gay...I am just very feminine

Gomp2: yes you are

C.D.dinosaur am not gay...

Gomp2: but I love you

(an Easter egg enters in the background)

(the Easter egg turns into a Hitler )

(the Hitler lays an Easter egg and fly’s away)

C.D.dinosaur:i thought you loved zeal

Gomp2: yes and that to but the feeling I feel for you is a mixture of hate and pestilence

C.D.dinosaur:and that’s love?

gomp2: yes...

(Gomp2 looks at C.D.dinosaur, C.D.dinosaur looks at Gomp2 each with a mix of hate and anger)

(Zeal enters with all and everything but C.D.dinosaur and gomp2 don't notice)

C.D.dinosaur: let’s settle this properly

Gomp2: yes lets

(super smash brothers arena arises out of the sky with Gomp1 riding it)

Gomp1: Finally…

C.D.dinosaur: I choose you Kaiser Chiefs

(The band comes out of the poke ball thing as a picture off Google and prances about)

Gomp2: ok then I choose the offspring

(one band eats Gomp2 and then eats the other)

Scene 7

After winning the band battle C.D.Dinosaur celebrated by drinking cyanide later he announced his quest to the group which consisted of All, Zeal and Gomps1 and 2 who had recently respawned with 50 life armed with the weapons they started the level with. Gomp2 unable to listen to the mockings of his opponent transports the entire group to Spain where he dances merrily.

Zeal: why r we in spa1n?

Ominous voice:...ARE! The WORD is ARE! We are N0T illiterate...

Zeal: Ok

(Zeal flies away to Atlantis)

(cut to Atlantis where zeal turns into a squirrel and turns Atlantis into a hippy town and then explodes)

(Zeal respawns and repeats her actions)

Ybrik: Fuck you, you don’t scare me!

(Hitler enters waving a white flag surrounded by demon hands)

Hitler: I surrender I no longer wish to be persecuted

Gomp1: give us your underwear!

Hitler: ok then, but I want to feel your mushrooms in return!

Gomp1: ok...

(Ice cream enters and eats Hitler spits out his under wear)

Gomp1: yay Hitler flavoured underwear. I can't wait to try these on!

(Gomp1 runs off stage)

C.D.Dinosaur:...Anyway, I wish to go onto the magic moon special ultra nine starred monkey ultra ultra star planet ring ring 57575757575757575757 magic magic magic ultra band tournament ultra ultra!



TreeFred: NO! Go to Albania!!!


(Tree separates from Fred)

Tree: what?

Fred: she said she was a potato


Ominous voice...AWW......


(Gomp2 wets himself)

C.D.DINOSAUR: I will catch it!

PLASTIC B0X: That is mine you cannot have it.

C.D.DINOSAUR: let us battle





Plastic box: I choose you "USHER"

(usher appears out of the poke ball thing and spins around in a circle continuously)

Ominous voice:...........USHER SUX!......

C.D.Dinosaur: I send out "Dodgy"

(Dodgy appears out of the poke ball thing and dances about)

(both bands spin around and there stats appear next to the two bands and Ominous voice and All)

Ominous voice:...USHER SUX! ...

(Thunder bolt strikes Usher, Usher takes 1000000000000000000000pts of damage)

Ominous voice;...YAY!...

Scene 8

(Scene opens Jesus enters, naked, with a censored black strip thing into a press conference)

Jesus: Sorry contrary to popular belief i have resigned my post as "son of god"

Reporter1: But why are you here then?

Jesus: To prove a point

Reporter2: So which religion is right?

Jesus: Why are you asking me?

Reporter2: Well you were the son of God

Jesus: i was illegitimate, and i could never actually become God when he retired, so there were no promotion prospects.

Reporter3: so you’re saying there is a god.

Jesus: No there is no god i just made him up, one more question.

(Reporters look at each other)

Reporter1: How big is your penis?

Jesus: I don't have one, so if that’s it-

Ominous voice: ...Fore!...

(Jesus falls from sky onto Jesus)

Jesus1: who the fuck are you?
(Darth Vader)
Jesus2: Jesus, I am your lover

Jesus1: oh, yes

(Censored strip explodes)

(Camera zooms out onto TV screen)

Ybrik: This TV show sucks!

Breadman: I agree

Fire: I don't care what you think, why are we in Prague?

Breadman: I agree

Fire: Shut up!

Breadman: I agree

(Breadman turns into zeal)

(Crapply drawn dinosaur enters with Gomp2)

(C.D.Dinosaur is out of breath)

Gomp2: I told you to pace yourself

C.D.Dinosaur: but how would i know it was so big?

Zeal: were you watching grass the movie again?

C.D.Dinosaur: Kno, I was watching air masturbating,

Zeal: Again?

C.D.Dinosaur: Yes again, it arouses me.

Zeal: how?

C.D.Dinosaur:...with magic?

Zeal: Oh

Fred: i have found a clue!

Tree: Yay!

Fire: Please DIE!

Tree: No!

Fire: why not?

Tree: I don’t know.

Fire: Read this book, it will help you

( book: why you should die 110 reasons)

(Tree dies)

(Death appears)

Death: another pie mat then

Death's alternate personality: Yes, in-deed

(Death eats tree)

(Death hops off screen)

(All arrives riding a chariot being led by his clones in black leather)

All: is this Iceland?

Canadian: NO

All: yes!

(All fades out and in continually in the background)

Fred: I have a clue!
Fire: a clue for what?

Fred: guess.

Gomp2: A way to stop the hippo's from stealing the wardrobes finest cutlery on there night out with the panda's step cousin the flamingo who sells herself every night to the man behind the bike shed who does not where make up but tells everyone he does because he wants all the little children to say he's sexually incoherent because he was told the cult of dishwashers will praise him by giving him lemon juice grown in the Antarctic if he did so!

Fred: No

C.D.Dinosaur: will it point out the person who has been eating the grass in my front lawn and selling it on eBay!?

Gomp1: you still don't know who does that?

C.D.Dinosaur: NO and its getting wierd, i’m finding notes in the garden containing words that insinuate a sexual nature

(Gomp2 looks away embarrassed)

Fred: no

Zeal: does it tell us the moral of this story?

Breadman: i agree

Gomp2...what moral?

Fred: yes

Scene 9

Narrator: The air particles held there meeting in the usual place, being the mouth of the French Dingo that they found wandering the streets of Sweden on a young September morn, sending his army of 4000 mice to rape and pillage the locals, with there whiskers. The air particles had fiendishly hidden in his left earlobe until all the mice were vanquished in shame as there sexual organs had not been attached securely in the morning before so again The dingo again was forced to wander the streets of Sweden riding his sleigh of noses into the dusk.
(inside the mouth podium surrounded by countless air particles)

Air particle 1: Good morrow fellow air particles, i have called you all here today to rehearse our plan to take over the world!

Air particle 3: So its not the disco?

Air particle 1: No! the disco is tomorrow! we are here to rehearse our mega ultra quiet shush shush don't tell anyone under pain of respiration plan to take over the world.

Air particle 56: so it’s not the disco

Air particle 1: if you are here for the air particle disco dancathon please leave!

(All but five million and six air particles leave)

Air particle 1: what do you want?

Air particle 69: SEX!

Air particle 1: oh, ok then...

(screen fades out onto a barren wasteland complete with desk and computer)

Gomp1: I am bored!

Fire: so? Why do I care? Why am I here? Who are you people?

Fred: I’m me he's him your you...

Fire: oh...

Gomp1: Because i am special!

Fire: no your not, no-one is special we are all drones living in a pointless existence...

(Gomp1 puts on sunglasses)

Fire: now you are special!

(Screen pops up)

Droning voice: well done! you now have the ability to turn invisible! wooh!

Ominous voice:........Mother.......

Gomp2: yay!

Zeal: Let’s go on the internet!

Fred: why? whats on the internet?

(C.D.Dinosaur appears on top of screen on broccoli and slowly falls down the page)

C.D.Dinosaur: P-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-R

(Screen cuts off and is replaced witha black board with censored written on it lift music plays)

(Screen reverts back to normal)


(Broccoli now at the bottom of the page explodes)

Gomp2: Spoon-noun-not used to pick up toilets,ducks,grass.watermelons,vegans,firemen,britney spears, the letter f,4,4,4,4,4,4

(Mooxo enters)

Mooxo:would you like to see a magic trick, its for television!

All: what kind of television?

Mooxo: my television! Don’t worry mikes over there and if anything goes wrong he will arrive in the nick of time to save you!

Zeal: wheres my beard?

(Box parachutes down and a beard flies out)

Everything: yay! My dreams have come true!

(Beard turns to all)

Beard: will you marry me?

All: No

Beard: i was not talking to you!

Mooxo: Yes my darling I shall

(Superman flies onto screen picks up Mooxo and beard and flies off screen)

Zeal: that is my beard!

Hitl3r: here have mine!

(Hitl3rs moustache flies around and lands on Zeal arm)

Zeal: I must comb it!

Fred: we must go onto the internet and have "FUN"!

Fire: why? Can't we just wallow in self pity?

Fred: ok

Scene 10

Narrator: in a secluded spot, north of Sweden, The world leaders with there sidekicks are having a secret meeting about various things that even I should not know about, but i do because I’m special!

World leader 1: I think we should vote Sweden!

World leader 4: Why?...

World leader 2: Because my Heterosexual friend Sweden isn't France and they don't speak Swahili

World leader 4: Now you don't call me heterosexual or my country will have your country!

World leader 1: Please we can have a world war anytime. Now is the time for voting like a democracy whilst they are still in fashion!

World leader 3: Yeah, Dictatorships are so last season

World leader 1: Wait...can you hear that rustling?

(World leader 4 cracks open to reveal a rubber band)

World leader 3: Ahhhh! The dreaded rubber band!

World leader 2: we are doomed!

(Radiator man enters heroic-ly)

Radiator man: Hahahahahahahahahahaha you all suck!

(Radiator man flies off)

(Rubber band emits a ray of light and incinerates all remaining characters)

(Scene cuts to Ybrik reading a story to some children)

Ybrik: 4ND 4LL TH4T W45 L3FT W45 D34TH!

Death: You rang?

Ybrik: N0 Fuck 0ff!

Death: I have rights too!

Ybrik: No you dont you are Sexually inadequate

(Matrix mock fight scene)


Narrator: meanwhile in a barren wasteland complete with computer desk and chair the small group of people we are following ARE staring at something

Zeal: So how do we use this internet?

Gomp1: First! We need a frog!

Fred: But where can we find a frog?

Gomp2: I know lets look on the internet!

Tree: YAY!

Ominous voice: ...Click here for bold!...

Fire: Why do i hear voices in my head?

All: They want you to kill yourself!

Fire: Prove it!

(All covers his mouth)

All: Fire!

Fire: Yes mysterious voice!

All: Dance!

Fire: Fuck you!

Ominous voice:...Click here for bold!...

(Breadman enters)

Breadman: I agree

Director: Say something else you fucking moron

Breadman: ...

(Breadman picks up script)

Breadman: I...Concur?

(Gomp1 stares at Breadman)

(Breadman storms off Gomp1 follows)

Gomp1: You look tired would you like this bev-er-age?

Breadman: Yes i would...

Gomp1: Well if you do not want it i shall pour it away before your eyes in a sarcastic fashion!

(Gomp1 eats the beverage)

(Cuts back to wasteland)

Fred: Let’s go on EBay!

Zeal: Yes for there we shall buy a frog so we can access this internet!

Gomp2: heres a good offer; "frog...internet purposes only" only for 5 human sex slaves!

All: That’s a good deal!

C.D.Dinosaur: Yeah but why can we find human sex slaves?

Zeal: Check your wallets!

(Takes out wallets)

All: I’ve got two!

Gomp2: I’ve got one and a half

C.D.Dinosaur: hey I’ve got seven

Fred: Where did you get seven from?

C.D.Dinosaur: Challenge TV

Everyone: Really?

C.D.Dinosaur: Yeah, they lurk around in lemonade costumes

Ominous voice: ...Click here for bold!...

C.D.Dinosaur: Exactly

Zeal: Let’s order it now so we don't have to wait around!

Narrator: four million years later

All: That was the fastest four million years ever

Gomp1: Yeah its like we haven't aged a day!

Zeal: The frog arrived today!

Ominous voice:...Wooh!...

Fire: Great!

Gomp1: Lets have parade

(Parade which includes one red piece of paper falling from the top of the screen to the bottom!)

Ominous voice:...YAY!..

Act 2 scene 3

Narrator: Meanwhile in Southern Germany

(White background with G3rm4n1 written on it)


Gomp1: You must embrace the culture...

(Gomp1's eyes glaze over)

Gomp1: Just think of all the death, torture and happy times that have happened here!...I can smell it now!

(Gomp1 is surrounded by monks and taken off screen)

German man 1: Zeig Heil?!

German woman 1: Heil, Heil Zeig!

German woman 2: Heil, Zeig Zeig, Zeig!

Fred: Bloody locals! its as if they own the place!

German man 1: Zeig Heil?!

All: I will handle this!

(All takes out French to English translation book)

All:(In a French accent)Zeig Heil! Zeig Heil! Zeig Zeig Heil!...Heil?

(German woman 2 slaps All, A hooded man steps out from behind a shed)

Hooded man: Is-eth thee-eth having-eth trouble-eth with-eth the-eth locals-eth ?

Zeal: Yes we are, can you help us?...Eth?

Hooded man: Yes...eth

(Hooded man turns to German group, subtitles appear at bottom of screen)

Hooded man: Zeig-eth Heil-eth,Heil-eth Heil-eth Heil-eth Zeig-eth Zeig-eth Zeig-Heil-eth
Translation: They insult your grandchildren’s telephones burn zem!

(German men 1 + 2 go into split screen and call forth there big mechanical robots)

German man 1: Zeig!

German man 2:...err...Shoe!

(Giant Hitler robot walks through background doing the John cleese thing, German man 2 takes off his shoe and runs towards All)

(Dramatic music plays and it begins to rain zooms in on characters)
(Cuts to restaurant music stops)
Narrator: Meanwhile...

(Everyone is at a table with a brick in a black leather corset)

Everyone: Are you enjoying your soup?


Everyone: Me too, we have so much in common!


Everyone: Oh your so funny!


Everyone: Ooh stop it! wait till we get to the bedroom!


Everyone: Yes mistress

(cuts back to Germany where the main characters are in a trench)

Gomp2: Why did we dig a trench?

Fred: We dug the trench so the roller blading watermelons could not smell us after they drank there way through that lake of chocolate!

Gomp2: Why are we running away from the watermelons

Fred: Because, they don't like the beach boys!

Gomp2: ok, why are you wearing an inflatable onion?

Fred: why aren't you wearing an inflatable onion?

(Gomp2 begins to cry)

Gomp2: I don't know? why? why do i not have an inflatable onion?

(Gomp2 explodes)

Narrator: You may be wondering why i am doing the voice over? Well i studied at Oxford where i passed with honours, then i got a gun and begun to shoot everyone that had ever spoken to me! Bang! Bang it went!...Cough...We find our "Hero's" in a dilemma...Wooh!

Tree: YAY the fleet is here!

Fire: No there not! it is merely a feather and a squirrel caught in the mist!

All: Pineapples form a main part in a giraffes nicotine diet!

Dr Pepper: Try my new flavour: Sodium

Scene 4

Narrator: Russia at this moment in time is populated by 400,000,000,000 Trout that have evolved into kneecaps lets watch them...but remember we must be subtle!

(Scene opens with the "Russian kneecaps" living in caves)

Angry xylophone: We deserve more wrapping paper for our daily yoga lesson!

(Russian kneecap picks up rock and throws it at the angry xylophone)

(Mushroom cloud)

Narrator2: Thus the Russian kneecaps became a force to be reckoned with...we meet our Russians during the cold war!

Russian 1: Well my Russian comrade!

Russian 2: Yes my Russian comrade!

Russian 1: Are you as the "American scum" My Russian comrade!

Russian 2: Why would you say that? My Russian comrade!

Russian 1: Because my Russian comrade! You are wearing, no pants!

Russian 2: I disagree with you my Russian comrade! As it is you who has no pants!

Russian 1: Cough cough my Russian comrade!

Russian 1: Would you like to have as "The American scum" say Oral sex?

Russian 2: After the speech...

(Podium appears)

(President Lincoln steps forward)

Lincoln :( Cockney accent) Four score and seven years ago. My Russian comrades and I had a dream that we would destroy America with many, many rocks but it seems there is a greater threat someone, who undermines our way of eating whilst sitting on a toilet these people are so despicable, so deadly that they even say the forbidden word! And these people are...

(Cuts to squirrel on a tree)

(Rock flies through air and hits squirrel)

(Mushroom cloud)

Lincoln: That’s we can party my Russian comrades!

(Disco ball drops "Night Fever" begins to play)

Russian 3: News from the frontline my Russian comrade sir!

Lincoln: Wooh!

Russian 3: It appears three unidentified war planes have appeared out of nowhere my Russian comrade sir!

Lincoln: Fine then...We go to war!

(Cuts to outside of a Village of lepers)

Monk1: You must find inner peace!

Gomp1: OK

(Gomp1 picks up rock and throws it at the village)

(Mushroom cloud)

Gomp1: I've found it!

Monk1: You have learned well!

Monk2: You may now re-enter society!

Gomp1: YAY!

(cut to Saturn)

(Giant piñata)

Dimaniort: HA! HA! HA! HA!...HA! SOON! I! SHALL! DANCE! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

(Cut back to trench)

Fire: I spy with my little eye something beginning with: Triangulormophic gotrantoic blegoyramill

C.D.Dinosaur: She's a spy!

All: Burn Her!

(Angry mob appears and chases Fire off screen)

Zeal: I am bored!

Omnious voice: ...Lets go on the internet!...

Ybrik: KN0 YU D1D TH4T L45T T1M3!

(A circle enters)

Circle: The Russians are invading!

Fred: No there not!

Circle: Yes they are!

Fred: Prove it!

Circle: Here is a note!

Fred: This is just a blank piece of paper!

Breadman: I see eye to eye!

C.D.Dinosaur: AHHHHHHHHHHH! a big scary dinosaur!

Gomp2: Those are the Russians!

Circle: BYEBYE

All: We must defend ourselves!

Zeal: We?

(Zeal puts on a parachute and flies away)

C.D.Dinosaur: Lets put together our rings of power-r-r-r-r-r-r-r!

Gomp2: No!

Fred: Then what do you suggest we do?

C.D.Dinosaur: Its blatantly obvious! We call forth Radiator man using his beacon of power-r-r-r-r-r-r!

(Heroic music Radiator man enters)

Radiator man: I will save you!

(Radiator man turns into rice pudding)

Fred: Oh no it appears to be that our enemy has a cycle map what are we to do?

(Gomp1 enters with numerous monks)

Gomp1: Hello brother Gomp2 how is your spleen?

Gomp2: it is fine, how is your spleen?

Gomp1: Its moved to Texas where he intends to set up a farm become famous and sell it on EBay then go to Vegas...

Gomp2: How will he become famous?

Gomp1: He shall mate sheep with spleens...

Gomp2: Oh…I tried that once...My spleen wasn't that happy...

Gomp1: Why?

Gomp2: She only likes horses!

Gomp1: OH!

Fred: Err...sorry to interrupt but we are about to get turned into a mixture of rice pudding and dust...

Gomp1: Great! Go my legions of holy-ness run amok and scream for death awaits you!

(Monks charge at the Russians)

Russian 1: Ahhhhhh! A priest! run! My comrades!

Lincoln: Do not fear my comrades! We have the mighty Cycle map!

Tree: It’s not working!

Zeal: Fine use the very very secret-like secret things that we all kept a secret untill now which is a secret that not even I know about secret which is so secret we don't know what it is!

All: You mean the "box"!

Zeal: Yes the "Box" wink wink wink!

All: OK!

(All steps up from the trench)

Lincoln: Ahhhhhhhh! An enemy come my comrades save yourselves!

Narrator: Back in Russia

Russian 1: now where’s that lubrication!

Scene 5

Narrator: Beware the cup cake Beware! For no man has glanced upon its subtle icing and mixture of varied chocolate flavourings and has left without buying at least one more item that they did not wish to buy, but they did! The history of this cupcake is unknown! But we have accounts from an area of the world where the cupcake had been mentioned!...Our entry leads us to Eastern Tibet!

(Scene opens to a McDonalds)

Tibetan Monk: Excuse me sir i would like to purchase a delight of the western community involving the sweetness of the cocoa bean and the softness of pastry...

McDonalds slave: Would you like fries with that?

Tibetan Monk: Can you describe this "Frie" is it a form of the potatoe that is harvested from this land so great? If so i would like to purchase such requirements...

(Plastic tray is pushed onto counter with a glowing cup cake and some lard with a mouldy potato glued onto it)

Mc Donald’s slave: That will be $40 AND YOUR SOUL!

Tibetan Monk: Ok

(Floor opens up and the Tibetan Monk falls down into the pit of hell)

Narrator: The cupcake then bought the moon and danced...And now the real story!

Fred: So...err...How's your day then?

All: I shall now make a fire

(All picks up two dogs and begins to rub them together)

Zeal: We can make smors

Tree: Yay!

Ominous voice: ...Alas what are we to do?...

Fire: What do you mean?

Ominous voice: ...My liquorice has lost its apartment in Spain!...

Roller skate1: This cannot be!

Roller skate2: WE shall offer you our foreign currency!

Gomp1: We do not want your foreign currency it smells of beets!


Ybrik: Br1ghtly C0l0ured Sp4rklez

Gomp1: Where’s my Corn dumpling?

Fire: Corn dumplings suck!

Fred: How would you know?

Fire: I can fly Wooooooooh!

Zeal: No you can't!

Fire: Prove it!

C.D.Dinosaur: I'M HUNGARY!

(Cuts to train and gravy cup)

(Gravy cup is poured slowly onto train)

Drone voice: Welcome to the Disneyworld courtesy team. This tram will take you to the transportation and ticket centre. Please seat your children towards the inside of the tram and keep your hands, feet, and lunchboxes inside the tram at all times. Thank you!

Ybrik: There is no Gravy left!

Fire: So! Eat some more!

Fred: K

(Thunderbolt strikes the ground)

Piñata: HA! HA! HA! HA!

Gomp2: Who are you?

Piñata: HA! HA! HA! HA! I! AM! THE! PINATA! HA! HA! HA! HA!

All: Good for you! Boo!

The letter H: You scared me!

All: Awfully sorry!


Fred: Great!

Gomp1: I'm rooting for you!

All: Go piñata!


(Timehole opens)


C.D.Dinosaur: Nooooooooo!

(Characters are sucked into time portal)

(inside Timeportal)

(Characters are playing "PATTA-CAKE")

All: Patta-Cake Patta-Cake Bakers nose,
How many sexual actions,
Can you pose?

(Outside Timehole)

(5 minutes later)

Piñata: HA! HA! HA! HA!

(Timehole opens behind Piñata)

Gomp2: So this is the future!


Computer programmer: Blip...Blip...Blip...Blip...Blip...Blip...


C.D.Dinosaur: Koooooooooo!

(Timehole Opens)

(Characters are sucked into it)
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